I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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