I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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