did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
