Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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