my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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