What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
