That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
