where does the pee come out of this thing
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
