you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
