we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
