I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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