sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
