there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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