I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
