Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
