Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
