He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
