Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
