I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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