I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
