with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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