he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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