Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am mentally ready for anal.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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