Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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