She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
