im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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