we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
