he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
