I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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