any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
