sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
