Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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