bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
