I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
