I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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