Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he thought i was a dude.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
