Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Non-Jews are for practice
Pants 0. Shit 1.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
