Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
