i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
