Already got asked if we're dating
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
