My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
