I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
