Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
