I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize