what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
