Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
