if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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