mondays should just be called national damage control day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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