she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
