i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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