i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
