I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
