so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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