just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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