ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
