somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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