Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
