I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
