I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
