so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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