I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
