AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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